Some foster ettiquete

So...as most of you know, my Abercrombie was adopted last friday. The meeting with the new parents was rough...I mean, rough for me, and rough for Abercrombie. He had never met them before, and we didn't do a home visit. I understand why the new owners are so trust worthy because they have two other rescues from our organization.

I could not help it, at the end, I just started balling. I felt so terrible, and Abercrombie was looking back at me the whole time, pulling on the leash to get back to me, that they had to kind of scoot him out, because he didn't want to go. And, the whole time, I'm standing there, tears streaming. Getting a little teary eyed right now in fact. And, to make it worse, I think the new owner ( a guy ) was kind of mortified by my crying.

So...long story short - this happens almost every time I adopt out a foster. I can't think of one time when I didn't cry. But, after this time, I started to question whether I should even be there for the transition. I don't want the new parents to feel bad, while I'm standing there balling, because it is not a reflection on them. I know I could have Vickie do the transfer on her own, and I would not have to be there....but, I don't know what is right.

What do you do? Do you force yourself to be happy for the sake of the dog, or is it easier to have someone neutral do the transfer? I'm going to try really, really hard next time to keep my tears in check until I make it to my car to leave.

I avoid having a break down at all costs as I think it's upsetting for the dog (I couldn't care less if it upsets the adopters--it's the dog I worry about). I have had more than one good cry in my car or after the adopters have left my house. I usually try to take the dog to the adopters, that way they can distract the dog in the yard and I can leave without a fanfare.

It's hard. No question about it, letting them go is hard.

Reneé.. It is too hard on you. This is what Vickie & I do when a foster is adopted: She picks the pug up from me, and she takes it to the new home herself. This way, she gets to see the new home, and a broken-up foster mom isn't along to upset the pug.

This also keeps the new pug owner from feeling bad and wondering if that pug should have stayed with you.

Maybe Vickie and you could make a similar arrangement. You can still be present at the initial interviews, but DON'T be there when the pug is being presented to their new owner. Just say your goodbyes from home and Vickie can pick them up, or drop them off at Vickie's and they can have a few hours (even overnight is better) to adjust before going to their new home.

Oh Renee, I'm so sorry! I would do what MJ does. I can't say don't upset yourself because you can't, but try and make it a little easier.

I am a hot mess when I am doing this. Never gets better for me. Either if I am just handing off on a transport (poor Amber usually has to see me loose it) or when I am handing off to the new family. I don't think the people are too uncomfortable, and if they are, oh well. I do love them like my own and I feel a part of me goes with each one. So if that mean they have to see me cry, then so be it. They at least know that I was dedicated to their new baby and if there was ever a problem, I would be there in an instant to take one back. Some leave a bigger hole than others, but they are hard.

My crying starts a fews days ahead of them leaving, the anticipation kills me.
I've debated on not being there when their new parents pick them up but in the end I have to be to say goodbye. If I shed a few tears so be it, I'm sure their new parents understand how hard it is.
They needed fosters just recently for Green Mountain but I had to say no for now, my last one did me in emotionally, I need a little time off.
You are doing a great thing for these pugs never forget that.

I try to hold back the tears until after the family/pug leaves. Most of the time, I prefer for the family to pick the foster pug up from my house because then the foster gets all excited when they get their harness on & find out that they're going for a car ride and they forget all about me (which I think is good). I haven't had one yet that's looked back or didn't want to go. I'm not good at giving them up either though (4 out of the 5 in my house are foster failures & the 5th is hospice! ).

I had seven foster pugs. The seventh was my foster failure. Five of the fosters were taken to their new homes by someone in the rescue. I always sent loads of information with each pug and still exchange emails with the forever homes. Some of my fosters have gone to the Bridge as I only had senior pugs. The pug foster who I took right to the new owner was the vet who had seen my pug. He too has since gone to the Bridge but had a super last couple years with many special vet services and spent the days in her office with another pug.

I shed tears over every pug as they left and one black diva I had only 10 days.