So Frustrated!!

Lilos Mom wrote:Blanche I just finished dealing with an adopter who after (6) days returned our Pug. He is crate trained & housebroken. But was adjusting from a foster home afternoon work schedule to an am routine. So of course he had a few accidents it's par for the course. He's adjusting, this absolute pyscho blew up the rescue line & our rescue email. She had contacted trainers, the vet and had rented dvds on housebreaking.

No one told her what she wanted to hear...give him time to adjust. At this point I try my best to find the best possible homes for these guys and the verbal abuse I took from this lady if I could have reached through the phone I'd have choked her.

People really don't understand we work full time jobs, have families, and try at some point to have a life but are expected to live our lifes around them their wants/needs.

Yup. And Yup. And Yup.

Lilos Mom wrote:Blanche I just finished dealing with an adopter who after (6) days returned our Pug. He is crate trained & housebroken. But was adjusting from a foster home afternoon work schedule to an am routine. So of course he had a few accidents it's par for the course. He's adjusting, this absolute pyscho blew up the rescue line & our rescue email. She had contacted trainers, the vet and had rented dvds on housebreaking.

No one told her what she wanted to hear...give him time to adjust. At this point I try my best to find the best possible homes for these guys and the verbal abuse I took from this lady if I could have reached through the phone I'd have choked her.

People really don't understand we work full time jobs, have families, and try at some point to have a life but are expected to live our lifes around them their wants/needs.

Yep. We're seeing a higher "adopter return" these days as well. We've had dogs returned after YEARS of adoption. Now some of those are legitimate, but we're seeing an increasing number of folks who just don't want to be bothered any more. Especially people who have had a child. We recently got a dog returned 5 years after adoption. They have a toddler, they are essentially ignoring the dog and crating her for massive amounts of time and basically told us that their child is their priority and if the dog can't adjust then she needs to come back to us. And we screen our potential homes carefully.

It makes you question your judgement. Makes you think that either you don't know what you're doing or you have to make unreasonable rules--never to adopt to anyone who might ever have a child. And yet, we have other adopters who had children and they integrated the dog beautifully.

I don't know. I will say that all the years of being in rescue and especially the last number of years coordinating a rescue have made me a very cynical and suspicious person. Nothing surprises me anymore. I've come to expect people to be idiots and I've come to believe that no matter how carefully we screen, we can never really relax about adoptions. And that is a very bad place to be.

**Especially people who have had a child. We recently got a dog returned 5 years after adoption. They have a toddler, they are essentially ignoring the dog and crating her for massive amounts of time and basically told us that their child is their priority and if the dog can't adjust then she needs to come back to us.**

I apologize upfront to the parents here, since they are obviously not the object of my point of view ... but the mind set that Blanche describes absolutely infuriates me.
Yup, kids are hard. yup, pets are hard ... but it is not impossible to do both and do them well ... as the parents here do.
Seems if they can casually discard a loving and utterly dependent dog that was in the home before the child ... Social Services needs to look at their parenting. What happens if the child becomes to difficult? Or interferes with career or social life??
I grew up in a pet-centric household. I eschewed teething biscuits for Milk Bones because that is what Tony & King ate for their teeth. I napped with dogs, I traveled with dogs, went to Dog Shows, had dog chores. I was prolly more important than the dogs ... but we co-existed pretty darn well!

My question that I found myself asking after awhile was are these people that cavalier about everything in their life? I really wish we could spay and neuter people sometimes.

In the old Petsmart days, we'd get people who wanted us to diagnose their sick dog or cat and would argue and get pissed when we would tell them to see a vet. I got yelled at on little yellow sticky notes once when I couldn't tell some deaf lady what was wrong with her cat.

And then there was the time a couple bought their kid who had some weird rash all over her if we knew what it was. Nasty! We told them to get the kid to a doctor but they headed back to the vet. Spay/neuter candidates if ever I saw them!

pugasaurus wrote:My question that I found myself asking after awhile was are these people that cavalier about everything in their life? I really wish we could spay and neuter people sometimes.

Amen!! ... again, with apologies to the parents here who obviously are not in that category!

DappleDoxieStaff wrote:

pugasaurus wrote:My question that I found myself asking after awhile was are these people that cavalier about everything in their life? I really wish we could spay and neuter people sometimes.

Amen!! ... again, with apologies to the parents here who obviously are not in that category!

I think this applies to people not just with children - although, obviously, children are a handy excuse for many people that just don't want the "work" of having a dog.

I don't understand the mind set of people that think dogs are just expendable? I mean, yeah, we went through rough times after we adopted Skeeter. He came with serious rescue issues (badly abused), but we stuck it out and we love him to death. And, I have TWO KIDS!! OMG! Never, ever did I think I needed to get rid of my dogs because I have kids.

I get what everyone is saying about feeling cynical and jaded and like you can't trust adopters, no matter how good their application, etc is. We recently (a few days ago), had one of our rescues that was adopted earlier in the summer pass away. You wanna know how this beautiful, young pug girl died? Well, she got out of the house while the owners were out at a party or something, and she f*cking froze to death outside all night. I have not been able to sleep since we got that call. I can't stop thinking about the incredible pain Missy must have been in. Did the owner even look for this poor pug? Or, was she too tired after getting home, and gave up? The owner had the nerve to say "Oh, you'll never give me another pug again will you?" No, Hell No! Where was the call to us to come help look for her pug?

"I get what everyone is saying about feeling cynical and jaded and like you can't trust adopters, no matter how good their application, etc is. We recently (a few days ago), had one of our rescues that was adopted earlier in the summer pass away. You wanna know how this beautiful, young pug girl died? Well, she got out of the house while the owners were out at a party or something, and she f*cking froze to death outside all night. I have not been able to sleep since we got that call. I can't stop thinking about the incredible pain Missy must have been in. Did the owner even look for this poor pug? Or, was she too tired after getting home, and gave up? The owner had the nerve to say "Oh, you'll never give me another pug again will you?" No, Hell No! Where was the call to us to come help look for her pug?"
Oh, Renee. Words fail me. How utterly irresponsible and tragic. Poor little pug. I am so sorry.

This is an interesting thread for me. I have often thought about this insane love and attachment that I have to these pugs - when I was the person who never wanted a dog. I have decided that it is because they deserve to be loved and cared for. They ask for nothing yet give and give and give.

I am soooo disappointed in people and think I am quite jaded when it comes to their issues. A couple of years ago I even worried that I had become too cold and unemotional.

Until I got Juneau! Now I'm a soggy, weeping mess when it comes to these pugs....but people still piss me off.