Thank you Pug Authority

Thank you everyone. It's been a whirlwind few days -- I traveled across country this weekend and have had so little time to think about everything that has happened. I cried the whole way to Atlanta. I was sitting in the middle seat on a packed flight using the wifi to post about Louie and read all the good thoughts and wishes and browse through the photos I've posted of him. My seat mates must have thought me nuts. I finally told the flight attendant who totally understood. I suppose there's plenty of people who do. I think about Louie every day and I go over his last moments a lot. The thoughts are what anyone would think in this moment: did I do the right thing? was it time? did he suffer? Driving myself crazy basically.

The last night he was with us, I was up with him for hours and he had several rough episodes of short breaths and crying and whimpering. I used my iPhone to record two of them so I could show the vet in case there was something they could do. I watched them last night and, well, looking at them now with just a couple of days perspective, it's hard not to think we did the right thing. As bad as they are, they're strangely comforting. He was suffering so. No creature should have to live like that.

And that night, he did something he never did: he curled up next to me and buried his chin on my arm. Even when he used to do that, when I would move he would move (he was such a curmudgeon that way) but that last night, he stuck to me like glue. I'd like to think he was trying to let me know it was time. It's so hard to say goodbye -- y'all know that -- but from the moment we met until the day we parted, he was my best friend in the whole world. As a friend said to me, "who wouldn’t want to die with a belly full of steak in the arms of their favorite person in the whole world? A true friend even in the end." I'll be sorry he won't be around to hold my hand when it's my time.

Louie was our first pug -- my first dog as an adult -- and every one of the hopefully many pugs who will come into our home will be his legacy. Louie gave us his all. He fought his whole life, including the days before we met when he was a stray wandering the streets of Los Angeles. He came to us sick and we did everything we could to make him better. I shared more with Louie than most people I know -- we traveled to Los Angeles and back and made a dozen trips to UC Davis. We stayed in motels together and slept on friends' couches, we were road warriors and he was always by my side in the passenger seat where he wasn't supposed to be but where wild horses could not drag him. He insisted on sticking his nose out the window, he barked at motorcycles with the ferociousness of a Rottie, he made us laugh with his head tilts and his dancing for dinner. He marked the entire pet store where we met him to pick him up and when we brought him home he promptly peed on the leg of our expensive dining room table before bolting upstairs and leaping head-long into our bed -- neatly made with white-on-white sheets -- and rubbing his (at the time) dirty pug face into the comforter. He was stubborn but could be the best go-along-get-along dog ever, in that way that pugs are always trying to please. He was a curious gentleman and gentle but he was the King of our home who ruled the roost whether it be his nightly battle with the squirrels who teased him from the trees around our deck in Santa Monica and later, when the young interloper arrived, eventually having to wrestle him to the ground to put him in his place. Even at the end, he would snap back at Chamuco if he got too close to his food or got devilish. He was always in charge.

I will never forget him, how once a day at least he would run through the house looking for me. I still hear the rat-tat-tap-tap of his paws on our wood floor and his pug smile when he found me. He slept on my lap when I worked at my desk or under my feet. He would throw himself onto the lawn to rub his back and watching him circle the yard to do his business was like ballet. He seemed to love the camera, too. Chamuco always turns away when I try to shoot him but Louie would always give me a couple of good shots -- such a Hollywood star. And speaking of star, he was such a trooper for the short film I made which was inspired by rescuing him. So many great times, so many great moments. I can't remember them all. It will be a pleasure to try to recall them. Even as I grieve, I know that the pain is partly from knowing the great gift he gave us, me especially that was impossible to repay. I'm am so grateful he found us. He saved me in so many ways and he became my friend and companion and I truly and deeply loved him.

Your words, your kindness, you just being you have been a big comfort to me and I'm so glad to know you, even virtually. Without a place like Pug Authority I would have no one to share this with. Thank you. Thank you, my friends. I love you all, four-legged and two-legged alike. Thank you.

That was a beautiful tribute, Elizabeth. I feel I know that wonderful old man even better, and I thought I knew him pretty well. So many of us have been there and come through wondering if we did the right thing; if the timing was right....and it always is. He took a little piece of your heart with him and he'll hold it until you meet again.

what an incredible legacy your little man has left behind. The pug world cried at the sad news but laughing some tonight as we read your memories. hugs.

Thanks so much for sharing those stories with us. Louie will definitely live on in your mind as well as your heart.

I lost my first pug, Jack, when he was just 1 yr old. He was *my* dog. My first on my own. I cried for days. Hugs to you!

Beautiful words for an amazing dog. Pugs are special to all of us, however Louie was even more so. His face was one of wisdom and humor. I'll miss Louie stories. But, know without a doubt he was where he wanted to be to the end.

Wow, what a beautiful tribute. I hope I can remember so many memories of my pug-babies!

Each day, the pain will be a little less, and those memories and pictures and videos will be a tremendous comfort.

What a wonderful tribute to a very special pug.

Louie is in all of our hearts because of you.

You heartfelt tribute to Louie was beautiful. I wish you peace and healing as you grieve the loss of your dear boy.

What a wonderful tribute to such an amazing pug. I feel like I know him so much better now, and I will never forget his face.
Thank you for doing all you did for him, you obviously shared a very special bond.
I hope the wonderful memories you have of Louie get you through until you meet again.

I've thought about Louie and the other pugs we've lost recently a lot this weekend. It's great to read that tribute this morning. What a good old fellow.

beautiful words Elizabeth, I've got tears in my eyes.
Louie touched a lot of people......he was special.
you will see him again, I'm sure of it.......

A really beautiful tribute, Elizabeth. Dogs are such amazing creatures. They enrich us by their very presence.

What a wonderful tribute for a special pug.

LisaIzzyAggy wrote:What a wonderful tribute for a special pug.

Oh yes, this!

What a beautiful tribute Elizabeth, I read it with tears in my eyes. I am quite certain that you and Louie will be together again. After all the sadness we have had here in the past week, this was just wonderful to read.

What a beautiful tribute, not just to Louie, but the love you shared.

I'm bawling like a baby at your tribute, Elizabeth, as the love you have for Louie shines through. I can picture him in his daily life, and some of his actions you describe have brought back memories of some of the things my own pugs have done. Keep a copy of what you have written here because you'll want to go back again and again to reread it to keep the memories of him fresh. And remember that the more we love, the more we hurt when they leave. But they leave us richer and softer for having had them in our hearts. The pain will subside but the love will remain. And we will never be the same for having loved them.

Your tribute to Louie was so full of love. I felt as I've known Louie personally myself. You tears of pain will ease in time and will be tears of joy when you speak of him. Many hugs to you.