What I miss most about Rupert.

What I miss most about Rupert

How we would wake up spooning in the morning and if I moved no matter what time he would pounce on me all happy like he had not seen me in years.

When it was time to go out we would play this game in the kitchen, he would stand there and I would say I’m gonna come get you and I would start walking towards him hunched over and he would be jumping for joy, I would scoop him up and kiss his belly then take him outside.

When I came home at night how he would woop it up , so totally excited to see me.

At night we would cuddle on the futon and he would lay on me with his little head in the crook of my neck just like a baby, it was the best feeling in the world.

I would carry him to bed and lay him down belly up and smooch it all over and tell him how lucky I was to have him.

When we would go to bed he would jump on me and lay down on my chest while I read then he insisted he needed to be under the covers.

I miss the joy he brought people, everyone loved Rupert

I miss putting on his silly belly bands in the morning or cleaning up his pee that he would sneak in when I was not looking

I miss how he would sit on the futon with his legs crossed

I miss how much he loved Vivian

I miss telling him how much Loved him every morning when I left for work

I miss everything about him



Please tell me it's going to get better becasue I am not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

It's been a very short time since you lost Rupert, Donna. Yes, you'll feel less devastated eventually, but you will never not miss him or not feel ripped off by his death.

It's hard to get past their deaths--particularly when it was totally unexpected and out of the blue. It may take months and months for you to feel like you are evening out emotionally.

Your tearing grief will pass, but it will take time. And there's no way to predict how long as everyone deals with it differently.

Your memories of Rupert made me both smile and cry. I know that right now, you can only cry, but I hope (no, I know) that one day, you'll also be able to smile through the tears. Hugs to you, darlin'!

It really will get better Donna. I promise. I wish I could tell you how long it will be until it gets better, but there's no way to know. Everyone grieves at their own pace. But please believe us when we tell you it does get better.

You'll feel lost and without a purpose for a while; you'll cry all the time, out of the blue. You'll be pissed, you'll be sad, you'll feel guilty, you'll feel every emotion. And it's ridiculous how all the emotions hit you at different times when you're not expecting it and when you think you've worked through one emotion, it'll sneak up out of nowhere and hit you in the face all over again! But you really do have to experience all of those emotions in order to really work through your grief.

Lean on us, cry to us, vent to us, rage to us. The support system we have here is a very unique and amazing thing. So please use us as your support system - I honestly don't think anyone can understand your grief the way other pug people can.

We love you and we know you loved Rupert. I enjoyed reading your post - I felt your love and your grief coming through it. But it was nice to be able to share that glimpse of your love for him.

Blanche, Ginger, and Rachel have said it very well. It will get better, honest, and Rupert will always be in your heart. You will never lose his love for you and your love for him. You are in my prayers and my practice every day and every night.

Donna,

Thanks for sharing Rupert with us. Your love for him came shining through in every word.

oh Donna, I know you love him. And he knows it too. He will never be far from your heart.

The others are so right - it will get better. And it'll take a while to get there. Meanwhile expect the tears, the anger, the sadness, the sense of loss - all at times when you think you're making progress. One of these days you'll shed a few tears, and then you'll smile just a tad when you think of all the love he gave you. And the next time it's a few less tears, and a little longer smile. Then after that - barely a tear falls, and a warm smile of memory.

And soon you'll smile more than you'll cry. But until then, we are here for you. We miss Rupert too. I know he's watching over you. Much, much love and comfort to you.

GingerSnap wrote:Your memories of Rupert made me both smile and cry.

Thank you for sharing what you miss about him... your entry reads like a poem of love - full of images we can all see - and that most of us probably do too, with one or more of our pugs... thank you for writing it...

He was giving back what he had to give, as a thank you for all you did for him each day... anyone would miss and mourn him as you are... please draw strength from us, from inside, from Vivian, from "tributing" Rupert...

There is light at the end of the tunnel, but you have to get around the corner before you see it. Hugs.

Thank you for sharing your darling boy with us Donna. How special he was comes shining through and the hole that's left in your heart from his loss is obvious.

I can tell you from experience what seems like insurmountable grief does slowly start to unfold to loving memories. Time heals. It really does. My heart has broken over the loss of all my beloved pets and each time I wondered how I could get through the grief. You go on. You bring another into your life, because that's the way you continue the love they bring. You always know your heart is going to be broken at some stage, but the pay-off for that grief is the unconditional love we received. And I think each time we bring another Pug or ANY pet into our lives it enriches us and makes us better people. This truly is the pay-off for the losses we know we'll suffer and why we are so ready to go through the whole cycle again.

You know you're amongst like-minds here like no other place and we're with you to get you through.

dieselsmom wrote:You'll feel lost and without a purpose for a while; you'll cry all the time, out of the blue. You'll be pissed, you'll be sad, you'll feel guilty, you'll feel every emotion. And it's ridiculous how all the emotions hit you at different times when you're not expecting it and when you think you've worked through one emotion, it'll sneak up out of nowhere and hit you in the face all over again!

I honestly don't think anyone can understand your grief the way other pug people can..

You are absolutely right, one second I think I have a grip on things then the next in an instant I feel like I am going to throw up.

I have said this before but it would be a thousand times harder without all of you, you guys have been the best support group anyone could ever wish for and I thank you all for being here.

(((((Donna)))))

Let it all out. That light at the end of the tunnel which seems so impossibly far away now will appear in its own time.

Meanwhile, we are all here for you, just as were for us when it was out turn...

It will get better. I promise you. These are the worst days but every day gets a wee bit better. *hugs*

Rupert sounds like your soul mate. What a special gift he was!

When you are ready, maybe you could make some type of memorial for him - a flower garden or a stone path with his name in the bricks (I've see this and it looks really cool). Or maybe you could create a bursary in Rupert's name, for a student attending an animal related program at university. When I did my master's degree I took a class called "Animal Therapy" as an elective. The top mark in the class received a bursary from someone who lost their dog.

Things will get better. My beloved siamese cat, Pablo, died a year ago yesterday. I was inconsolable when it happened last year, took time off work and cried for days. I think of him every single day and created "Pablo's garden" this year. He was the most amazing cat ever (he swam in the pool, and loved to go in the car) and a year later, I can talk about him and laugh about the things he did.

Keep your heart open.

Donna

Did you get your tattoo?

What a beautiful tribute to Rupert. Those memories are so special and touching. I hope I remember all those things about my babies when they pass into the next life.

I think Tarrington's has great ideas. I know you are talented and artistic Donna, I bet you could create something very heartfelt and beautiful.

juneau hunter wrote:Rupert sounds like your soul mate. What a special gift he was!

When you are ready, maybe you could make some type of memorial for him - a flower garden or a stone path with his name in the bricks (I've see this and it looks really cool). Or maybe you could create a bursary in Rupert's name, for a student attending an animal related program at university. When I did my master's degree I took a class called "Animal Therapy" as an elective. The top mark in the class received a bursary from someone who lost their dog. Keep your heart open.

He really was my soul mate, he adored me and me him. I bought a rose of sharon tree yesterday that I am going to plant in his honor, I am haveing a ceramic box made and glazed in turquoise for his ashes and am planting him in one of my garden beds I have in my back yard and will fill it up with all sorts of beautiful flowers.
I like the idea of a bursay, never heard of it but will look into it.

Tyson&LuLu'sMom wrote:Donna

Did you get your tattoo?

Tomorrow.

Donna, thank you for sharing with us Rupert's wonderful personality. What an absolute love he was! Although he was taken way too soon for those he left behind, you'll always have your cherished memories of what a great little guy he was.

Oh my God, I haven't been online in over a week and my heart just sank reading this. I'm SO sorry, Donna. My heart breaks for you. Yes, it does get better, but it takes time. Much love to you.